ah-shiyt:

dan-will-make-you-howell:

splantamello:

hotaimee:

thiscorpsofbrothers:

splantamello:

hydrogyne:

cute things to call your girlfriend:

  1. sugar
  2. honey
  3. flour
  4. egg
  5. salt

6. 1 tbs of butter

7. stir thoroughly

8. pour into baking pan

9. we forgot to preheat the oven to 375

why would we have to preheat her if she’s already hot

you smooth fucker

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

berksome:

a happy couple might’ve got married today 

someone might’ve kissed their best friend and realized they are gay today

someone might’ve found out they were officially cancer free today

someone might’ve finally finished their debut novel today 

lots of interesting things might’ve happening today 

we should celebrate 

you’re the kind of person everyone needs in their lives

(Source: olympercy)

fasterfood:

oh, you wanted the demons exorcised…i thought you said exercised…we’ve been doing yoga for the last week…


(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)


(Source: tastefullyoffensive)